Happy Birthday To ME!
Probably not appropriate etiquette, but I don’t care. It’s my birthday and I have quite a bit to say about it.
Do you love or hate your birthday?
Age is just a number to me and I have no issue with growing a year old. Sure some years have made me reflect more and ask myself questions, it’s never a WHOA IS ME, I’M OLD. Even today when I woke up and my back was tweaked. We laughed because it was like my body was telling me “Happy birthday ya old bitch” lol
I spent years, hell decades, being angry about birthdays. I’ve had many pretty shitty ones and I focused on those shitty ones and ruined others because of it. Have you seen Sixteen Candles? I grew up with seriously, awesome parents and they forgot my 16th bday. Yeah, no joke and no sisters wedding as an excuse. (Watch the movie if that went over your head.)
Unfortunately, 2 years ago I was forced to buck up forever. 2 years ago my FIL passed away the night of my birthday. Pretty close to right now as a matter of fact. Hubby and I had gone out of town and it was an amazing day. It was a day we seriously needed after all of the care giving and stress we’d had for months. Then we saw his brother had been trying to get ahold of us while we were at dinner and we knew it couldn’t be good. My FIL had been very sick and when we went out of town we knew it could possibly happen.
There could be very little that could ever make my birthday worse than losing a loved one.
Last year when it was the first anniversary, I was determined that my birthday will not turn into a day of grieving. While I acknowledged that we both will have grief on this day, I refuse to let MY BIRTHDAY be a day of sadness for the rest of my life.
Which means, I had to make changes.
See, for years I just expected people to know what I wanted. I was pouty and annoyed that they didn’t know I wanted to be celebrated in grand style. If you know me this is hilarious because it’s the opposite of how I live life lol
How could they know if I didn’t tell them?
I do tell them now. I also set things up myself. I bought myself a birthday shirt. I’m about to hit amazon and load up my shopping cart and NOT take half of it out before checking out. (I’m not only one that does that right?)
A big thing I am also doing is saying YES. Hubby always says we’ll do whatever I want and I just do the Eeyore, oh well, I’m just fine doing nothing. I created a lot of my own misery. I’m owning it and moved on 😉
In future years I will plan trips for my bday. We have this odd phenomenon of it snowing here now. Somewhere warm sounds fun instead of the 5-6 inches I’m looking at.
For now we stay home. Our youngest’s bday is the day after mine lol See, I told you I have a long history of martyrdom going on with this birthday thing.
I’m choosing to make my birthday what I want. With no resistance from anyone because the only one stopping my happiness was myself.
I’m over the years of focusing on the crappy bdays. I recognize they happened and I move on. Because today is now about what I make it.
So excuse me while I go pour myself a whiskey & coke while making my hubby watch Pitch Perfect with me while I recite it word for word and sing along 😉 Oh, while he makes me a killer steak dinner. I’m working on finding my inner diva I didn’t know existed.
Well since I’ve claimed to be 29 for 20+ years you might think I hate birthdays but I don’t. I really like them. Even birthdays that start out seemingly shitty but end up awesome…….
Like my 30th when I had my daughter’s soccer team party at my house and everyone was told as they entered “My mom is 30 today” and ended with my neighbor coming over after everyone left with a bottle of wine and a card saying “Welcome to the Dirty 30 club! We’ve been waiting for you!”
Or my 50th that I was convinced my husband and kids had let go by without any fanfare whatsoever. I bitched and cried to my *friend* before we were leaving to go meet my son and daughter in law to go to dinner…….only to be surprised with a “Surprise 50 Looks Great On Her” party.
While the whole “I’m 29” thing will probably stick with my family forever I’ve come to realize I’ve lived all 53 of my years, earned every line, wrinkle, pound and sag that came with all the experiences…the love/hate, joy/sadness, successes/failures, all the dreams come true/those that fell by the wayside and all the children/grandchildren whose lives are wrapped up in every smile line/worry wrinkle.
I’ve learned to wear the “flaws” that age brings as a badge of honor. I’m proud of me, how I look, where I am in my life. I hope I can continue to do so and not fall back into the “29 forever ” mentality.
I look forward to my birthdays now. Celebrating me, my past, my future. And the presents…….give me all the presents ??
Hope this is what you were looking for and I didn’t just go on sideways babbling babble. ??
You can babble away with me any day! Goodness knows you hear me babble often <3
My MIL was always 29. Once we hit 30 I told her she had to move on to 39 lol
This so resonated with me, Val! I love the “take charge” actions you’re doing. I did something similar a few weeks ago, and made a reservation in the swankiest restaurant in town for my birthday dinner in June.
The decision is the first step to making it happen!
YES! Nice job. If your spouse is anything like mine, he means it when he tells me plan whatever I want. He’s very easy going.
I need to figure out what I want to do for our anniversary instead of letting the timing of it give me anxiety that we just can’t do what I’d hoped to.
What a wonderful idea… Deciding what you want and going for it! (And yes, I often take at least half back out of the cart..LOL)
Have a wonderful birthday and a wonderful year!!
So the truth is, I haven’t done the amazon shopping yet. BUT, that is because I ordered the super expensive seat covers for my Jeep that I wanted and then watched the movies with my guys lol
House is quiet and I think it’s time to shop 😉
It took a significant illness on my part to move past thinking that other people would remember to celebrate my birthday. Now every year I think of it as a bonus year and celebrate it. I decided what I want to do. I will load up my shopping cart at Amazon, but usually, I take everything out. Oh, well.
Sorry it took a major event for you too. But, I’m glad you used it to your benefit!