Believing in yourself is a big part of your success and happiness. But if you have low self-esteem, it’s not easy to believe in yourself. And that keeps a sad cycle going on and on. You may struggle to step outside of your comfort zone and look for a way to make your life better. You may believe that you don’t have the means to better yourself or that you don’t deserve a better life.
You can change your life and it starts with believing in yourself. But first, you have to identify what’s holding you back. Here are three common self-esteem killers that can keep you from living out your true potential.
Comparing Yourself To Others
Do you look around and feel like everyone else has a handle on life but you? This is a common feeling, especially in our digital age. Maybe you have a friend on Pinterest who always seems to have a clean house. But you don’t see what her house looks like when the kids have the flu and there hasn’t been time to do any laundry.
Social media means you often only see the best of everyone’s lives. Seeing your friend’s good days can leave you feeling like you’re a failure because your house doesn’t look clean all the time like your friend’s house obviously does. You’re constantly exposed to the best side of someone’s life thanks to social media and rarely see the ugly parts, too. It’s important to remember this when you’re scrolling through your news feed. Unless you are following my page (https://facebook.com/valselbycoach) or Instagram (https://instagram.com/valselbycoach), then you get a good dose of reality. I’ll help you improve that self-esteem?
Ditch The Past
The past often shapes us and affects us far more than we realize. Negative situations in your past can make it hard for you to believe in yourself. Maybe you were in a toxic relationship with a partner who verbally abused you. Maybe you grew up with an alcoholic parent or maybe you were bullied in middle school.
Your past can be the biggest threat to your present if you don’t take action. It can take a toll on your self-esteem and crush your sense of confidence. If you’ve been in a bad situation in the past, you’ll need to re-train your thought processes. You may need the help of a therapist or life coach (https://valselby.com/bold-life-coaching/) to help you deal with painful situations from your past that are keeping you stuck.
Work on taking one thing with you from the past…” holy hell, I won’t do that again.”
Are there current relationships with a dynamic that keeps you questioning yourself? Sometimes other people can undermine your sense of self-esteem. They may do it subtly by making unkind remarks and dismissing these remarks as jokes. They may discourage you from acting on a project you were really excited about. They may tell you that you’re not good enough to reach your goals.
Few things are more painful than a friend or loved one that is unkind and unsupportive. If possible, try to have a conversation with this person about their behavior. In a healthy relationship, there’s room on both sides for honesty.
But if your loved one or friend still won’t be supportive, you should consider limiting how often you interact with them. If you do have to be around this person for some reason, try to have a nurturing activity planned for yourself later after your interaction.
Just like you can switch your TV to a different station, you can change your thoughts about yourself from negative to positive. It takes a lot of work and it doesn’t happen immediately. But as you begin to focus on your positive qualities, you’ll experience a boost in your self-esteem and find it easier to believe in yourself.
Believe in yourself because YOU ARE BOLD
Be bold today,