Ask a bunch of midlife women how they define happiness and you’ll get a lot of them saying a well-paying job, an awesome home, or even winning the lottery. However, depending on the circumstances, all these could only be for the short-term and dependent on others. What would happen to your happiness level if you lost your job? Or when you’ve splurged all your lottery winnings?
If you don’t take ownership of your emotions or have never held yourself accountable for your decisions in life, then you fall right back into the same dark hole. How many lottery winners end up dead broke again because their spending habits went even more out of control than before they won?
Let’s agree on one thing, happiness isn’t permanent or 100% sustainable. That’s not a Debbie Downer statement, that’s fact. BUT, actually being happy means you are secure in the knowledge that you can withstand the storms of life. That you truly believe and know there are good things going on and coming up despite the storm.
To be honest, my favorite way to own my happiness is gratitude exercises. Many find it helpful to practice meditations. However, a few other options to long-term happiness can also include:
Following Your Gut
Sometimes, you come across extremely discouraging situations. Hell, we are absolutely in big ones right now. However, bear in mind that life has a turning point and things can always work out positively in the end. Therefore, the best thing to do is to listen to your inner voice. The more you learn to trust yourself, the happier you’ll be.
Knowing you should have listened to your gut, but didn’t is frustrating. When your gut is telling you something, stop and listen and figure out why you are feeling that way. Typically your gut reaction is because of things your not willing to face in your life, but know that you need to. Listen and go with it.
Living in Abundance
A great attitude can go a long way in ensuring your happiness level remains high. Abundance does not mean having the most things or biggest house. Even though scarcity exists, you should always remember that you’re blessed with an abundant life and have so much to be thankful for. Even though you may not have all the riches, prestige, or power in the world, you’ll always find yourself compassionate about other people. This builds happiness within you.
Living in abundance is about appreciating everything you have and the amazing things you can still attain. The memories and the moments are more priceless than any car or home. Recognizing all you have can also bring you more.
Living with Integrity
When living our lives, we tend to cling to the pursuit of money, wealth, and power in order to mask our insecurities. It’s human nature now. But, these things usually put us in situations where we compromise our integrity in order to get them. Don’t let it!
When you compromise, you’ll begin to have sleepless nights simply because of the uneasiness that you’re feeling. There’s that gut again telling us we aren’t living in alignment with our beliefs. This leads to frustrations. So, never compromise on your integrity! Live your truth and you can not go wrong.
Letting Things Fall in Place
The world is full of so many things that can wreak havoc on our emotional well being. Sometimes, a co-worker gets on your nerves. Other times, you just feel like resigning from being a mom and wife when the shit has hit the fan too many times. There’s a reason why the old Calgon take me away commercials were so popular. We midlife women get it! lol
Understand that you’ll achieve happiness when you accept people the way they are and learn to pick your battles wisely. Allow people to be who they are and try not to force-change situations that cannot be changed. You’ll end up a happier person.
You can’t force things to be the way you want them. You can however, live YOUR life as you like and watch others join you and be inspired by your happiness. Leading by example helps a lot of things fall in place.
Accept Others For Them
No one is perfect – and this includes you and me. Every one of us has our strengths and weaknesses, and so before you judge others, take a hard look at yourself first. When you rejoice in the fact that the world is made up of all sorts of people with different personalities and experiences to share, you’ll find yourself happier in the long run.
I’ll let you in on a secret that my Mom taught me. It shouldn’t be a secret, but it seems to be. I’ll speak from my and my Mom’s experience, the women we have the most issue with are rocking the hell out of character traits we don’t like in ourselves.
It’s amazingly true! If someone drives you insane, take a look why and really analyze it. It’s crazy how quickly you can just let it go and ignore them when you realize it’s because they have a character trait you can’t stand in yourself. Remember, you can’t change them. So instead, just accept they are owning that part of their personality and move on.
At the end of the day, your happiness is never dependent on anyone or any situation. It’s simply a state of mind and the choice to be happy starts with being responsible for our feelings/emotions.
Remember, happiness is a choice. Live with no regrets.
PS – Are you ready to truly own your happiness? Embrace that we have finally hit the IDGAF years! Download the ebook and listen to the audio because Happiness is a Choice.
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